Better Days Grey Wide photo-1503891617560-5b8c2e28cbf6 articles moved

By Better Days Global, Aug 17 2018 11:55AM



It can be easy to become influenced by voices that don’t get what you’re trying to do. People who don’t approve of you or your work, will always try to discourage you. Once you make your mark, you’ll attract erasers. People who are intimidated by your prime will always try to shorten it. Maybe there are people who drain your energy by constantly demanding you to justify the choices you make, to explain yourself to them so that they can argue with you. By all means spend some time explaining your why, but don’t lose sleep over the fact that they don’t listen and don’t approve of it. Whatever you do, don’t change the way you’re doing it because of them. They don’t really care and they don’t matter to the work you are doing. They provide an excuse to quit. Don’t let it be that. Don’t let the desire to have your work approved drive the work itself. If that was what drove the greatest minds in history, the world would look very different and we would probably still be living in caves, or extinct. Do you approve of yourself or do you seek the approval of others?






When we lack confidence and in particular have a low understanding of our worth, we find ourselves needing the approval of others to feel good about ourselves. Unfortunately, in this day and age of being over worked and under valued, the approval of others may take years to come or never will. Saying “well done” or “thank you” doesn’t seem too common in language in modern society, and how often do you say such things to others?



Being self critical is an easy habit to get into, and forms the basis of our needing approval from others. The root of our self-criticism is usually being at the receiving end of criticism from others as we grow up. I like the expression that “criticism is negative feedback badly delivered”.


Constantly receiving messages like “you’re too slow/stupid/bad/ugly/…” etc leads to us believing that this is a reality. And language like “don’t do that” “why did you….” “you shouldn’t have” “you always” “you mustn’t” doesn’t exactly help a child feel good about themselves. Every expression is a sign of disapproval, so it’s not surprising we grow wanting that approval from others. Comparing ourselves to others is another way we end up being critical of ourselves, as we usually find ways we don’t match up. This perpetuates our own self-disapproval. If you must compare, find positive things in the process and use your comparison to grow not to shrink yourself. Even if you find yourself with role models you are trying to emulate, there will be aspects of their personality, perhaps particular skills or attributes that you already have but they don’t possess. We all have a special fingerprint and God carefully made us all unique for a reason.



Identify situations where you find yourself seeking the approval of others. Is it with particular people, boss, parent, in particular environments, workplace, home, social? Is there any reason you can identify why this should be, why you’re leaving yourself vulnerable to their moods and frustrations? Whether or not you can find reasons for your seeking approval, start getting in the habit of getting approval solely God and from yourself. One easy way to challenge such thinking, is to remind yourself that most people are quite self centered and will speak from their own perspective and opinion of who you should be based on their own beliefs. The problem with this perspective is that they have completely travelled a different path to you, which led them to this train of thought process which doesn’t make it 100% accurate to your situation or even the truth. It is flawed. In the same way you spend most of your time full of self talk, worrying about you, other people are not as concerned about you as you think. They’re mostly concerned about themselves.






The bottom line is while you’re worried about others opinion or approval of you, they probably haven’t given you any thought at all. Like you, when they’re thinking about other people, it’s mainly in relation to themselves. None of us know what anyone else is thinking. Whether or not they’ve even noticed you or what you have done, you may never know. So why beat yourself up about it?



Seeking approval of others and listening to the opinions that don’t resonate with you is detrimental to your happiness. People who ignore their own identity and instead choose to act on the preference of other people never find their true calling or purpose in life. They become the puppets of this lifetime in control by whomever they hand the strings to. This happens because other people do not know your deepest needs and desires, so they cannot help you find your life’s purpose. Almost everyone seeks approval of others on some level, mainly because we were trained to do so since our childhood. That’s what all educational systems and many other institutions and traditions teach us.



If we behave well, our parents are happy with us. If we do what our teachers tell us to do, we are rewarded with good grades. If at work we do our best, the managers are happy with us. Everything seems to be based on the obedience model and bound to someone else. So when there is no defined model to follow, it seems like something is missing. And we automatically start seeking approval to check if we are doing everything okay. We find gurus and other intelligent people and seek their approval. But you should realize that sometimes you’ll have to create a path instead of following someone else’s. If every decision you make is based of another person’s ‘yes’, you will lose your own sense of direction in life and end up on their path unequipped. If you blindly follow others, you will not be happy. Sometimes you will have to be the first that ever did it. If you firstly try to consciously disregard such critics, it will be hard, but with time, it will be increasingly easier to not care what others think about your choices when you completely free yourself from the approval-seeking mode. 



This is not how your story ends;


Written By Steve Whyte




By Better Days Global, Apr 12 2018 10:37AM



In this age of goals, dreams and aspirations, it is no secret that troubles come along the way. For some it may seem that they come more often than success or achievement. In these moments, it is difficult to see the light in the tunnel, and this causes many to lose hope and the spark they once had. The constant pursuit of something that is in the world, but not in your life can become draining, and the yearning it creates for a shift is deep, powerful but often painful.



We have thoughts of doubt, which are tied to desperation of a big break, a change, and a next level. This quest and desire for a breakthrough isn’t a bad thing, however, can become dangerous if the things we seek are limited by faulty interpretations of what the shift is. It is easy to subscribe to the notion that success, security and wellness are things, which are dependent on external and tangible acquisitions. These beliefs are driven by how these blessings are often portrayed, but limited by our perspective and attachments to our own domino effect scenarios. We adopt the viewpoints that if we do this, this and then this, we will get to this level, or achieve this thing that will lead to this opportunity, which will lead to this person seeing us, and then we will arrive, or we think if we get this amount of money, we can do this thing, and go to this place, which will make us happy.






I’m here today to tell you that anything that is outside of you is limited to its existence, without longevity and subject to change. If all of your dreams and goals are dependent on the current of the external world, and the array of variables that can exist, your shift and next level will always be limited but larger than you. However, when you set your mind in a higher place and submit to the reality that God has blessed you abundantly, you will soon see that your shift is not outside of you, rather inside of you. You’ll come to understand and utilise the powerful reality that anything that can fit inside of your mind is smaller than you.






I came to this realisation one year in Paris, standing beneath the Eifel Tower. It was my first time visiting Paris and I was amazed at the size of the Tower. It was much larger than I had previously thought. So big that I struggled to properly frame its full form in my camera lens. As I tried my best to fit it in, it then dawned upon me that the camera lens I had attached wasn’t the correct lens to use from the perspective I were standing, and I had to settle for a mental image. I immediately was mind-blown as something so small triggered such a deep and profound revelation within me: If it can fit inside of my mind, it’s smaller than me. This day changed my perspective of what everything meant to me, large problems began to shrink, my vision expanded and I for the first time saw the unlimited nature and abilities of my own mind. It is a universe within itself, created by God which contains unlimited blessings.



Once I had this reality grasped, nothing seemed to big, too far away, or too out of reach, as I now knew that my big break, shift and next level was a mindset. My advice to you today is to stop looking around you for what is already within you. The internal drives the external. Go beyond your understanding and all that you’ve experienced. God has so much more for you to see, and it is way bigger than any promotion, amount of money, or perspective of reality that you or I could draw up from our viewpoint of the world.



You are your shift.



This is not how your story ends;



Written By Steve Whyte